Specialists in Healthcare Family and Employment (Regulatory) Mediation
Mediation (provided and taught)
Professional Supervision – (provided and taught)
Definition: We can attempt to define this yet it will evolve and change as we grow. The ‘Birth Process’ style of mediation is a process. Mediation is a process within ourselves which we invite others to participate in with their own inner journey. If we, the mediators, start and end with peacefulness then the process can be a peaceful one. There may be tears and pain yet there will be movement to facilitate whatever changes are necessary for each person. This is actively creating momentum, That can be developed as a tool for future strategies in managing other conflicts.
We are the bridge between others. They may perceive a conflict or some problem that requires resolution. We see the bridge for common union or communication between the parties. If we see both parties as respected friends we will see possible solutions. We are both omnipartial (on all sides) and objective by being separate from the consequences of the problem that requires resolution.
“We are the technique” (Kenneth Cloake)
This phrase means more about our inner journey to be peace-makers than our already being there. There is honesty in being contradictory. We may want both parties to gain what they need and to give what is required by the other party. Awareness of this contradiction allows us to share the process by inviting the parties to look at ways to achieve what they would like. We do this by asking questions, by reflecting what we have heard and seen them saying. Their non-verbal communication is often more reflective than their words. Award silences provide more insight into their relationship dynamics. We can learn to pause and be comfortable with uncomfortable silences.
How to be an effective mediator
First, we need awareness of our own journey, our inner issues and the practice awareness. This can be simply observing our breath, then observing our emotions watching them rise and fall like the breath.
React or Respond
We can choose to react or respond to our own thoughts and emotions. As we observe ourselves in this process we develop the tools to observe and reflect to others that they appear to be reacting or responding. We are changing our reality and the whole process by changing ourselves.
The distinction between reacting and responding is that
- Reacting is simply the unconscious playing out without engaging thoughtful processes
- Responding is a more considered response after initial awareness of the emotions. It is considering possible options and their consequences.
Connecting (to others and to ourselves)
We are interrelated, connected to all others and to everything.
Does a butterfly in Tokyo affect the weather in New York? This is a modern koan or riddle. Simply put, the investigation takes us on a journey to realize our interconnectedness affects everything, so, the answer is yes.
First we connect to ourselves. This can be done by a familiar method or complex routine, or simply by deciding to be connected now in this breath. It may help by practicing mindful breathing, allowing and observing the breath to drop deeply into the center of the body where we feel balanced emotionally physically and mentally.
Secondly, (or simultaneously in some situations) we connect with others, with the parties we are invited to mediate with.
Agreement to mediate
This initial agreement to mediate is like a person entering a therapeutic relationship that because they have chosen it they will benefit as much as they choose to from it.
The agreement to mediate can directly lead to a mediated agreement. <explain>
The simple shift of moving towards a possible agreement can make it become a reality.
This happens because someone else is involved and invested with trust. The parties may know very little about the mediator and it may be nothing to do with the mediator’s qualities. That they have decided to mediate can be enough.
Why does this happen so easily in some situations? It may be simple self-interest. Both parties would like something and an end to the disagreement. Why does this not happen in other cases? Sometimes a party has become addicted in some way to the fight. They may even find comfort in the familiarity of the fight. It may represent their inner power if they felt powerless at some time. The role of the mediator would be to guide the person with this feeling to new familiarity such as meeting the mediator more often and gaining a positive feedback feeling from simply doing this. Then later, when they are ready, this can translate into making positive choices.
Letting go of negative behaviors and addictive patterns is possible. Breath and body work will assist with other self-awareness programs such as meditation, yoga or simply walking. There are a variety of tools to contribute to allowing us to release and rebalance.
Do you ever feel there is a problem which gets worse as you try to deal with it? Ask yourself, Am I allowing others to process, how can I let go control and find a peaceful way? These and other questions are used to facilitate awareness which will give greater choice over how we resolve our issues.
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Participate with responsibility
When working with others we can practice mindfulness. Constantly reminding ourselves to question: How we are with ourselves and within the relationship?
We participate in our own dramas which can be with awareness and responsibility or we can choose to continue without changing anything.
“If you do what you have always done you will get what you have always got.”
We transfer our energy to others. This can be a sense of calm equanimity or chaos; love or fear, judgement or acceptance.
Testing the veracity
Mediation in action can be seen by the mediator verifying what the parties state. This is more of an unfolding of truth rather than arguments of evidence. It is less about persuasion and more about a process of honesty through reflection. By testing the veracity we find areas that require more attention, creating more options for solutions.
Motivation is the process rather than the agreement. Communication can bring its own satisfaction (and frustrations). Moving through this process to an agreeable communication style (even within oneself) is a significant reward. Agreements must flow naturally, they become by-products of positive communication.
A Mediator may like to meditate on the role of being a peace-maker within themselves; healing their own hurts and negative emotions, releasing judgements, guilt and fear.
Reading material will be provided along with useful links to websites and other resources when enrolled on a workshop or course.
Who are we offering this service to?
- Hospitals / healthcare facilities / individuals
- Universities, teachersand students
- Healthcare staff / Doctors / Doulas / Midwives / Nurses
- Government Departments (Central and Local)
We have individual rates depending upon needs and time.
Please enquiry by email or via the online form.
We offer to provide co-mediation with two mediators from different backgrounds, ethnicity and gender. They facilitate mediation with a wide range of perspectives.
TRAINING information available on request
Other Mediation Available
Employment (& Regulatory) Mediation provider
(Maternal child specialist)